Flying with toddlers. A full guide from a mum who has done it more than once

Flying with toddlers is one of those things people warn you about long before you actually do it. I remember hearing phrases like nightmare flight or you will never sleep again. After flying multiple times with two toddlers, both within Australia and overseas, I can say this honestly. It is challenging, yes. But it is also manageable if you go in prepared and with the right mindset.

This guide is written from real experience. Missed naps. Spilled snacks. Tears. And also some surprisingly calm flights. If you are an Australian parent planning to fly with a toddler, this will walk you through everything I wish I had known earlier.

Understanding toddler behaviour at altitude

Toddlers struggle with things they cannot control or understand. Pressure changes in ears. Being strapped into a seat. Not being able to run around freely. All of this can feel overwhelming to them.

On one of my first flights, my son cried during takeoff because his ears hurt and he could not explain it. I felt helpless until a flight attendant suggested offering a drink. That simple action made a huge difference.

The key thing to remember is that behaviour on a plane is not bad behaviour. It is stress behaviour. When you see it that way, your response naturally becomes calmer.

Booking the right flight makes a big difference

When possible, I try to book flights that align with nap times. Morning flights work best for my kids. Late evening flights sound tempting, but overtired toddlers often struggle more, not less.

If you can, avoid tight connections. Rushing through airports with a toddler and carry on bags is exhausting and unnecessary stress.

For Australian domestic flights, I also prefer airlines that allow flexible seating options and offer family friendly boarding. That extra few minutes to settle in helps more than people realise.

Choosing seats and understanding child travel rules

Toddlers over two years old usually require their own seat. Under two, they may travel on a parent’s lap, but this can be tiring on longer flights.

I learned quickly that having a separate seat, even if the child moves around, gives more space and flexibility. If you are using an approved car seat on board, check airline rules beforehand.

Australian aviation safety rules are guided by authorities like the Civil Aviation Safety Authority, which provides clear guidance on child restraints and onboard safety.

For reference, CASA and airline websites explain approved restraints and safety practices clearly casa.gov.au

Packing for toddlers. Less than you think, but smarter

Overpacking is a common mistake. I did it on my first flight and regretted every heavy bag.

What matters is not quantity, but usefulness.

I pack:

• One full change of clothes easily accessible
• Extra snacks more than you think you need
• Wet wipes and tissues
• A small blanket or familiar item
• One favourite toy and one new small toy

The new toy works wonders. Novelty buys you attention time. I once wrapped a small toy car in paper and gave it mid flight. It kept my son busy longer than expected.

Snacks can save the flight

Never underestimate the power of snacks. Hunger and boredom often look like tantrums.

I bring a mix of familiar snacks and slower eating ones like rice crackers or cut fruit. Avoid anything too sugary. The sugar crash mid-flight is not fun.

For ear pressure during takeoff and landing, drinks or snacks that encourage swallowing really help.

Managing naps and sleep on the plane

Sleep on planes is unpredictable. Sometimes toddlers sleep beautifully. Sometimes they do not sleep at all.

I stopped forcing sleep. Instead, I aim for rest. Dimming screens, cuddling, and familiar routines help signal calm even if sleep does not happen.

If your toddler does not sleep, it is okay. One rough day does not undo everything.

Handling tantrums without panic

Every parent fears the public meltdown on a plane. It happens. I have been there.

The biggest lesson I learned is this. Most people are more understanding than you think. The stress often comes from our own embarrassment, not others’ judgment.

Stay calm. Speak softly. Remove stimulation if possible. Sometimes a simple walk down the aisle helps, when allowed.

You are not failing. You are parenting in a challenging environment.

Screen time rules can bend on flights

At home, we limit screen time. On flights, rules bend.

Downloaded shows and games can be a lifesaver, especially on longer routes. Headphones sized for toddlers help reduce noise issues.

I remind myself that this is not everyday life. It is survival mode, and that is okay.

Dealing with delays and unexpected issues

Delays hit harder with toddlers. Snacks run out. Energy runs high.

I now always carry spare snacks and one backup activity. Airports can be overwhelming, but letting toddlers walk and explore safely before boarding helps burn energy.

Flexibility is your biggest asset here.

Flying solo with a toddler

Flying alone with a toddler deserves special mention. It is harder, but still doable.

Ask for help. Airport staff are usually kind and understanding. Pre boarding is your friend.

I once hesitated to ask a stranger to hold my bag while folding a pram. I learned quickly that most people are happy to help if you ask.

International flights from Australia with toddlers

Long-haul flights add another layer of planning. More snacks. More entertainment. More patience.

Break the flight mentally into segments. One movie. One snack. One nap. Repeat.

Do not expect perfection. Expect adaptability.

Mindset matters more than perfection

The biggest shift for me was changing expectations. Flights with toddlers are not about comfort. They are about management.

When I stopped aiming for a perfect flight and started aiming for a manageable one, everything felt easier.

You will forget some things. Something will spill. Someone will cry. And then the flight will land, and it will be over.

Flying with toddlers is not easy, but it is temporary. Each flight teaches you something new, and each time gets slightly easier. With preparation, patience, and a little self compassion, you will get through it and maybe even feel proud of yourself at the end.